Toxic Family Dynamic

How to manage?

Family dynamics are complex and unique to each family. What’s consider toxic may differ culturally. However, we know when we are affected by our family dynamic and when we consider it toxic to our well being. Most common thing people do to protect themselves can be setting appropriate and safe boundary within the family.

How do people manage that boundary?

1. Know your limit. Be firm to your identity (who you are as a person and what your principle stands for). By doing this, you know what is ok and not ok for yourself. You will be able to set limit to what kind of behaviour is acceptable for you or not.

2. Accepting the flaw and turn down the expectation of your “ideal family”. Every family is unique and by accepting the flaws, often times we are opening a new door.

3. Abuse is not ok in any form. If you are aware of emotional, verbal or physical abuse, seek help and remove yourself from that situation and find a safe place (e.g. a friend’s house, other trusted family member’s house, etc).

4. Know that you are not what your controlling parents have been treated you as. If you have been treated unfairly or made feel worthless, know that it does not define who you are.

Dealing with a dysfunctional family is difficult and painful work, best accomplished with a gifted therapist. Remember that you are not alone and that this road can be accomplished with appropriate supports such as a friend, partner or therapist.